Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
