put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
