handjob tips. give me some.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
