carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
