so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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