I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
