i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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