i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize