they need to just BURY HIM!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
