Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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