i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
whose ass print is on the piano?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize