that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
