Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize