I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
