Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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