she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
