A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize