I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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