i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize