How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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