.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize