insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
