i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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