hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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