got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
