I feel like abortions should bother me more
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize