Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
