I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
