also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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