Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
