You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
