How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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