Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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