I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
