turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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