buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Sext me about skeletons
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
