someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
