This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
