party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So much rum. So many feels.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
