It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
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