do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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