I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he puts the penis in happiness.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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