Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
