You can't special order awesome
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My ass is underappreciated
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
