Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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