I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
