so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
