how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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