I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
