He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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