real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize