Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
