I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
