You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize