dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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