i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
